Of Cabbages and Kings

Oars dip into the waters of a fog-bound strait, as an invasion fleet paddles nigh silent in the still of the night. In the distance loom chalky cliffs of white, the black streaks cutting 'cross its face seeming to guide the ships to harbor in what is now the town of Dover. Caesar's legion disembarks, marches miles across the countryside, conquering and pillaging, laying waste to its adversaries. At journey's end, they sail back to terra firma, the solid ground of Empire, where all roads lead to roam, carrying with them the progenitor for the greatest treasure man has ever known: broccoli.

Not gold, nay, not silver, or precious jewels, such as future armadas would bring back from the new world. Not fossil bones or ostriches, or many-splendored robes, but a simple garden vegetable that has saved more lives than one might ever know. From humble beginnings as a near weed thousands of years ago, it has become a staple of diets ranging from East Asian to Mediterranean to American South, from a pestilence seeking refuge on limestone sea cliffs to kale and collard greens, Chinese broccoli and cauliflower, cabbages and Brussels sprouts, kohlrabi and broccoli, all those green vegetables kids just love to hate. And not just kids either, since two presidents -- the Bushes -- have expressed a measure of disdain for it. Then again, perhaps they, named after plants, do not enjoy greens due to the implied cannibalism in such tastes, preferring instead a cut of filet mignon from the Texas pronghorn cattle their ancestors smuggled across the border from Mexico.

Mind you, that attitude would not have survived long in the years after the fall of the Roman Empire, where in those Dark Ages, peasants from Ireland to Russia lived off of cabbage soup leavened with carrots, and very occasionally, chicken as a delicacy. The same basic ingredients have sustained many a family through hard times, whether the fall of a nation, the Great Depression, or in soup kitchens to feed to homeless, though understandably, the innovation of canned and instant soups have introduced celery and rice as commonplace.

As cabbage has helped many to get through hard times, it is a slight irony that in England, the term "cabbage" is a slang synonym for money. And more than that, the same term can be used as an endearment from a man to a woman in Europe's most romantic language, with the phrase "ma petite chou" meaning literally "my little cabbage." Be warned, don't try this in the United States or in Germany, or you may encounter less than optimal results, as during World War II, "kraut" (cabbage) was a racial slur for Germans, and in Hebrew, the term "rosh kruv" (cabbage head) implies stupidity.

In Germany, instead, the vegetable of choice is the "kale", which is more closely related to the wild-type of cabbage than that eaten elsewhere, and indeed, an entire culture has risen up around it. Central European social clubs tend to have a "Grünkohlfahrt" ("kale tour") sometime in January, visiting a country inn to consume large quantities of kale, sausage and schnapps, or even a yearly kale festival which includes naming a "kale king" (this is equivalent to the king of the harvest!). To the north, it is part of an obligatory holiday dish that accompanies (and usually supersedes the importance of) the Christmas ham, and in some places, it was so important as the base for a traditional diet that the word for kale is synonymous with food.

But enough with talk of cabbages (curly or not) and kings, as we move on to the more noble branches of the wild mustard family: the aforementioned broccoli and cauliflower, which are both 'superfoods' helping people live longer and better enjoy their lives.

The name broccoli, of course, comes from the Italian broccolo, meaning stalk (the part of the vegetable that both Bushes most vehemently dislike), though the origin of this particular cultivar is less than perfectly clear. While the Roman natural history writer, Pliny the Elder, wrote about a vegetable that fit the description of broccoli, implying that the Romans grew their own during the 1st century, some trace it back to the ancient Greeks and beyond. Yet, despite being an important part of the Imperial diet, it was relatively unknown until much at least 1560, when the first mention of it pops up in France, before shuffling back to its origins in Britain in 1724. There it was called the italian asparagus (oddly enough, the same vegetable that can grow unaided in the soils of Mars--perhaps the Martian staple will be asparagus), at least until Thomas Jefferson received some seeds to cultivate in the soils of America.

But like the soybean, broccoli did not become popular until well into the 20th century, when in 1922, the D'Arrigo brothers, Italian immigrants from Messina, made some tentative plantings in San Jose, California. A few crates were shipped to Boston, and business boomed, against the protestations of disillusioned teenagers and little children picking at their greens. This resistance found a niche in pop culture, with the first reference to it appearing in "The New Yorker" in 1928. There, a mother and child are seated at the table, and the mother says, "It's broccoli, dear," pointing to the inoffensive plant matter. The child replies, "I say it's spinach, and I say the hell with it!"

More recently, the English band Coil released a track called 'Broccoli' on their 1999 album "Musick to Play in the Dark Vol. 1", praising the health benefits of the vegetable. But is it only the British who benefit from broccoli and these other relatives of the wild cabbage first looted from Britannic shores? Or are they simply most acutely aware of how much better our lives would be if we ate the 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables a day recommended by most nutritionists?

The latter is more likely, as researcher have discovered that broccoli really is good for you. In addition to having a large assortment of vitamins (A, B, C) and minerals (iron, zinc, potassium, etc), it also boasts compounds such as 3,3'-Diindolylmethane and sulforaphane, potent modulators of the innate immune response system with anti-viral, anti-bacterial and anti-cancer properties. In addition, other compounds within it increase liver function (so if one is inclined to party, eating broccoli helps you last longer), prevents heart disease and stroke, and even stops certain forms of cancer (breast, prostate, GI tract) in its tracks. Guess those Romans got something much more valuable than even they realized, when they invaded the British Isles.

Just don't overcook it, or the resulting mush, besides being unappetizing, will not be very nutritional either. Rather like how homework, when turned into dull rote memorization and busywork to clutter up one's time, is not terribly conducive to learning.

This has been another edition of the Eclectic Hodgepodge. Please comment with any questions, comments, or suggestions (particularly for the next topic, I'd love to accommodate your requests). Until next time, this is the bumbling Strawberry, over and out.